The Rules were simple, like everything else in a college dorm...  Breakable…They launched the first annual college dorm cook-off.  These rules were mainly for leveling the playing field.  And keeping the cooking secret from the house mouse.   They were also for safety and not burning down the dorms.   Here are the rules.

  • Only one pot (5 Quart) and one hotplate allowed, Microwave OK and Toaster OK for support.
  • No wood or furniture fires.
  • Do not burn the room or dorm down.
  • No tossing food or cooks off the third floor dorm with fraternity mates hoping to catch some on the fly, no extra points given.
  • Hotplates may not be left unattended or you will be disqualified.
  • Faculty will not judge this event as they are not invited. Besides, the faculty would call the school police.
  • The heat source must be a one burner hot plate.  Radar Ranges, Bunsen burners, flame throwers, taping into volcanos, hickory logs or effigy bonfires are not allowed. 
  • You are allowed one meat, chicken or fish item. Pre-cooked or uncooked.  Everything else must be from a can, packet or frozen goods.  Herbs excepted.  Items must be recognizable and available from local groceries.  Bats, rats and iguanas not excepted.
  • One pot over a hotplate with restricted food entries. I decided after prodding by my young Patawan friend to help her create this dish for her entry. I was surprised, it really tasted good and was simple.
    It would be perfect on a cold day.  The problem was what to call it.  It had the Chinese Ramen with Chicken with a decidedly Italian sauce. "Fun Dung" was the winner.

Disclaimer And Basic Food Rules

This new event was inspired by a group of young starving college students who worked exclusively with Ramen noodles.  It was amazing what they dreamed up to cook in their dorms pursuant to the culinary rhelm of the Ramen or Chinese noodle.  May I refer you to a blog by Anita Dualeh, the College Survival Guide of Rasmussen College.  Ramen Nation on Amazon.  by Toni Patrick who has a great book on the subject of Ramen survival.

NOTE: No students were poisoned, or died from some of the concoctions dreamed up at this great culinary event.  Too bad some deserved to be shot.  We did win, I believe, because the dish we made looked like food.  Some of the other entrants were not exactly appetizing, not even edible.  When the lab rats would not eat it they were disqualified.


  • One (already cooked) Sam's or Costco Roasted chicken diced, sliced, disemboweled, cut, and slaughtered into bite sized pieces. Saved cooking time, leave the skin on for flavor.  Use all the meat and I mean all, including the dark side
  • Substitute  three large cans of cooked Chicken. Sam’s or Costco,  OK thats the one chicken portion requirement.
  • Medium to large onion, diced, couple garlic cloves.  For the contest we used dried Onion and Garlic. For home the real thing.
  • Three packages Ramen noodles and yes add the powder packages.  I use Knorrs Pollo Broth Instead, better flavor.
  • 2  Cans Swanson Chicken Broth
  • 3  Cups water, the broth makes up the difference, plus liquid from the tomatoes
  • 2  Cans Diced Tomatos (Hunts)
  • 2  California Mix Frozen Veggies by Birdseye in a package
  • 1  Can Rotolo Diced Tomato with Chillies
  • 1  Can Tomato Paste (Hunts - small size)
  • 4  Bay leaves
  • 3 0z-  Crushed Jalopena Potato Chips on top as crust

Add the usual no salt (chicken broth is usually heavy on salt) Black pepper, and a few Red Pepper Flakes ( they are fairly hot, be cautious).   Feeds at least four to five gorillas and possibly six if your football team is underweight. 

Extensive Cooking Directions

Cook the Ramen Noodles in the water, broth, powder and a splash of oil, saut’e the onions and garlic, add the pre-cooked chicken till hot, add the whole mess of other ingredients one at a time, and stir and simmer, stir and simmer, for an hour and a half. 

Season to get the right heat and taste with the peppers and you can push a minced Jalopena peppers less their seeds and white pith,  if you think the dorms folks like that flavor.  The dried red pepper flakes should quell any macho appetites and cauterize their esophagus. 

Use the potato chips crushed on top. Serve with 1- Domestic Beer  2- Imported Beer   3- Romulon Beer from Kirks personal supply, as served on The Big Bang show. 


While most of the other college contestants were busy trying to stuff Gange, Marijuana, Weed, Grass, Pot, Indo, Ganja, Wacky Tabacky, Mary Jane, Chronic, Hemp, Bud, Herb, Peyote, Reefer, Goofy Boots and known by 87 other names into cookies we went another route.

PIZZA! The National Dish of College Campuses!
Three ingredients made this the easiest and most legal snack of all the entries and really required little or no work or effort, perfect for college kids who’s main energy is usually directed toward sports, team alcoholism, and copulation. 

  • You will need Al’s Spaghetti pizza sauce offshoot, or any pizza spices from McCormick, at most grocery stores
  • Good fresh bagels or english muffins
  • White American cheese or a two cheese mix 
    • You may add the following:
    • Pepperoni
    • Mushrooms
    • Onions
    • Sausage,  Bacon
    • Extra cheese,  Black olives,  Green peppers
    • Pineapple,  Spinach,  Bacon bits
    • Garlic cloves…  or any thing else small enough to fit on that won’t cause eminent death or paralysis.  As you can see we are not new to the college scene.


  • The Bagel, well, plain is good, variants are good like whole wheat, garlic and so forth BUT old ones from two months ago with mold are not good.
  • The Cheese - For the cheese we used a commercial size pack from Sam’s which is a blended Swiss and American.  Mild it goes with anything, imitates very expensive pizza cheese and can handle heating and melting well. It was very inexpensive bulk packed, sliced and ready to go. When you make 50 of these bagels, bulk and pre-sliced was the way to go.  
  • Also we had the lowest cost per item as Gange ( Smokeable) went to 50 dollars an ounce in Colorado and too expensive to just hand out.
  • The Sauce -  Al’s perfect Spaghetti  pizza sauce, is the best BUT in the dorm PREGO won hands down, we used the meat PREGO, fairly mild and sweet, added half a small jar of hot Salsa for bite and two tablespoons of Spaghetti Blend Herbs commonly found in grocery spices across the nation. Made a great Pizza sauce. I’m using it on big pies I make.

Two Minute Cooking

  • The key to cooking for groups is the assembly line and here’s how we made fifty samples…
  • Cut bagels in half, place into toaster for medium toast. Keep them (all five) toasters going
  • Remove and place the bagels face sides down, take a 1/4 of the slice of cheese and cover the hole on one side of the two slices, this prevents drippage or sauce on white shirt syndrome.
  • Cover with the sauce, over the cover part too, generously but not insanely. 
  • The amount dripped onto the floor will indicate correction, usually less the amounts in the following mini-pies.
  • Place two pieces of cheese in a star pattern as shown over the sauce and into the Microwave for 30 seconds to melt the cheese… 
  • Note: You may cut the cheese ( sounds ominous) julienne style for a more authentic look, no penalty points.

More Notes: 

For those attending the Hebrew University, it is not official but this dish might be considered Kosher safe or kosher inspired looking by your Jewish classmates… because of the star of David.  You can get the cheese, bagels and sauce Kosher easily modified to personal tastes and culinary beliefs.

Beats spending twenty dollars for Dominoes  Hunger Homies  Jabah the Hut Home and Your Papas John delivery…… for something thats old and cold  by the time it gets to you.

I wish you could taste them, this is a little killer combo. 

I’m doing a party next week and will probably make twenty different varieties for the fun of it…at the party as a gaf.  

I’ll use the oven and do twenty per tray with al kinds of goodies like Chicken and Pineapple,  Pepperoni with Feta Cheese, millions of combos.